I hate the word *relax*

I was going to blog tonight about how awful I feel tonight. I had a someone dear to me look at me and say, "Oh, the joys of motherhood" with a sigh about the frustrations of tired children. This has happened numerous times and I just want to scream, "YES!! The joys of motherhood that I will never get to experience!" Instead, I just went to a room and cried and allowed myself to be angry and feel sorry for myself. Doesn't anyone think about how much I WANT a baby!! I logged on facebook before starting my blog thinking about how I would communicate my anger and how terrible it is to be infertile in the mist of those who have numerous children and began reading through a couple of my new messages. Many women have contacted me on facebook and shared their stories and struggles with me. While I am not happy to hear their stories and hope that they will be pregnant soon, it has been a great reality check for me. I am not alone. I am not the only one who hears these hurtful words. I am not the only one who does the what ifs, drs appointments, the why do they get kids and I don't. Then, I was confronted from these words that might as well have been spoken from my Lord, "What if I refuse to allow the Lord to be in charge of this? What if I give up and forget to see His goodness in life?" I think this is especially important for me tonight as tomorrow is the celebration of the fact that my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ rose from the dead. If my God is able to bring someone back from the dead, He is certainly able to bring my womb to life, when it appears to be dead. This is such a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful thing to me tonight. Tomorrow will bring with it meeting up with some cousins who are expecting that I have not seen since they found out that they are pregnant. However, I will try to bring my mind to think on the amazing reality that God brought the dead back to life. He can bring my dead womb to life.